I few years back, I really got myself in some hot water, and it ended up leading me down a path that I’m not too proud of today. Long story short, I was a bullshitter. I talked my way out of many awkward, embarrassing or dangerous situations just by manipulating the conversation effectively. When I was busted on it, I feigned ignorance but eventually, the house of cards all came crumbling down, and I’m still recovering from that today.

Today, I feel it’s very important to tell the truth, and that I have to keep my moral standards higher than I used to just to keep up. I make lots of decisions based on that new code of mine, and sometimes it’s not always beneficial to my bottom line.

I know a few bullshitters right now, and it always amazes me to see how they work. I watch how their mind is twisting things around to try to save themselves, and I almost feel sorry for them and who they are. I know their pain, and I just hope they don’t end up in the same situation that I did, lost and confused without a friend in the world.

I bring this up because I’ve been asked quite a few times recently to break my moral code, and it’s been quite difficult to take a stand. In some cases, it affects my bottom line. In others, it affects my personal relationships. In both, it puts me in a bad position.

But if I were to go back to the person I was, then what kind of example would I be setting for my son?

It means that I might just have to bite the bullet sometime soon and walk away from the situation. It sucks really bad, but I never want to see the old Kevin again, and right now I can feel him peeking around the corner, waiting for me me to fail.